HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT
She is not a 'babe' or a 'chick' - She is a 'breasted North American'.
She is not a 'screamer' or 'moaner' - She is 'vocally appreciative'.
She is not 'easy' - She is 'horizontally accessible'.
She does not 'tease' or 'flirt' - She engages in 'artificial stimulation'.
She is not 'dumb' - She is a 'detour off the information superhighway'.
She has not 'been around' - She is a 'previously enjoyed companion'.
She does not 'get you excited' or 'make you hard' - She causes 'temporary
blood displacement'.
She is not 'kinky' - She is a 'creative caretaker'.
She does not have a 'killer body' - She is 'terminally attractive'.
She is not an 'airhead' - She is 'reality impaired'.
She does not get 'drunk' or 'tipsy' - She gets 'chemically inconvenienced'.
She is not 'horny' - She is 'sexually focused'.
She does not have 'breast implants' - She is 'medically enhanced'.
She does not 'nag' - She becomes 'verbally repetitive'.
She is not a 'slut' - She is 'sexually extroverted'.
She does not have 'major league hooters' - She is 'pectorally superior'.
She is not a 'two bit whore' - She is a 'low cost excitement provider'.
HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT.
He does not have a 'beer gut' - He has developed a 'liquid grain storage
facility'.
He is not a 'bad dancer' - He is 'overly caucasian'.
He does not 'get lost all the time' - He 'investigates alternative
destinations'.
He is not 'balding' - He is in 'follicle regression'.
He is not a 'cradle robber' - He prefers 'generationally differential
relationships'.
He does not get 'falling-down drunk' - He becomes 'accidentally horizontal'.
He does not act like a 'total ass' - He develops a case of 'rectal-cranial
inversion'.
He is not a 'sex machine' - He is 'romantically automated'.
He is not a 'male chauvinist pig' - He has 'swine empathy'.
He is not afraid of 'commitment' - He is 'monogamously challenged'.
He does not 'undress you with his eyes' - He has an 'introspective graphic
moment'.
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